We all have lots of excuses for not winning in the game of life or on the racetrack.
For example: "The wind was blowing in the wrong direction"; "Google maps got the turn wrong" and "I know I didn't make a mistake – the wall must have moved".
Then Lewis Hamilton suggested the reason he was being targeted by the stewards: "Maybe because I'm black?"
But our award for the worst excuse goes to Lando Norris, 24, 173cm and 68kg, originally from Woking, SDL (soap dodger land) but lately of Monaco. Last week at the Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix, Lando finished first of the losers, behind Mad Max by seven-tenths of a second. "One or two more laps and I think I would have had him," said Leaping Lando. Get your hand off it Lando.
This is like saying "I could have won the gold medal in the 100m if it was 150m" or "we could have won the one-day match if it had gone for two days". Millions of dollars, thousands of hours and years of F1 driver skill go into getting the car just to the finish and no further. Maxie's tyres were just about done but he knew they were and an enormous amount of skill would get him the chequered flag. Which they did.
That's not to say the differences between the cars aren't closing. Chuck Leclerc's Feezer and Lando's McLaren both look good for tomorrow. McLaren has had the most wins here, followed by Ferrari. Among the current drivers, Hamilton has won three and Fred Alonso and Max Max have won two each. Back Max for Sunday.
Of course, if you're not in Monte Carlo you'll be in Ned Kelly territory, Winton, this weekend for Australia's longest-running historic car and motorcycle event, Historic Winton. There will be 400 cars and a few temporary Australians on motorbikes.
Talking of Ferrari, you remember that two readers have had serious problems with their Ferrari Romas? Not that you'd know but Roma owners around the world have had serious problems that make this $600k piece of Italian metal worthy of the title, "limone". One of the readers, a multiple Ferrari owner, cut her losses and sold her Roma, the other is battling on with Ferrari and dealer Ferrari North Shore, which refuses to replace or refund the value of the car.
Talking of lemons, our friends at Consumer Reports have just issued their list of the 10 least reliable cars. And the "winners" include: the Jeep Wrangler and Jeep Grand Cherokee, Volvo XC60 plug-in, and Chrysler Pacifica Hybrid. Also low scoring are: 2024 Mitsubishi Mirage, 2024 Polestar 2, 2024 Land Rover Range Rover Evoque, 2024 Land Rover Discovery Sport and the 2024 Mercedes-Benz CLA.
And forgetting warranty, spare parts and service just bid on one of only 50 of the most significant modern Maseratis. This 2005 Maserati MC12 is up for auction at RM Sotheby's next month.
jc@jcp.com.au