Given the importance of this day to the future of Australia we are rising to the occasion and only focusing on matters of such global significance that they transcend the sausage sizzle.
Friends, I don't want to alarm you but very soon Xi Jinping and his cronies will own the global car industry. Yes, they have bought all our farms in Australia, all our iron ore, all our apartments and before you can say "two number 35s, three Chiko rolls and a fried rice", we will all be driving Geelys.
Of course, they will be cleverly disguised as Volvos (already 100 per cent-owned), MGs (100 per cent-owned), Lotuses (51 per cent), Mercedes-Benzes (10 per cent), Aston Martins (Merc owns 5 per cent of Aston).
This can only lead to the most important question of the day. Will Mr Xi try to take the oldest Porker in the world back to Peking for his own collection? RM are auctioning off what they say is "the most significant surviving piece of Porsche engineering and design history" ever sold. It's the Type 64. And it's up in August at the Pebble Beach Concours and auction extravaganza.
As you know the leader of Germany at the time, Adolph Hitler, got Ferdinand Porker to design a cheap car for the masses to enjoy the new highway system. Ferdy and the team came up with KdF-Wagen. The original KdF, or what we know today as the beetle, had an 18kW donk and was good for 100km/h on any autobahn.