Given that "breaking" wasn't a big winner for you at the recent Olympics, your team here at Global Sports HQ, Surry Hills, have come up with some new categories which will both bring younger people and those of a more mature persuasion in droves to the 101-year-old LA Memorial Coliseum.
We know that you have already suggested some new, what you quaintly call sports, to the July 2028 event. Messrs Mapother IV and Dogg have told us the new sports will be lacrosse sixes; baseball-softball; cricket; flag football and squash. Be still my beating heart.
Our team suggest monster truck racing, and dances of the 1960s and 70s – in particular the funky chicken, the swim, the hitch hike, the monkey, the frug, the hustle and of course the grinder.
As you know, last weekend was Australia's premier sporting event, the Winton 300. The scene setter for the 300 was the National Super Truck championship. Seriously, seeing seven of the world's fastest prime movers coming out of the early morning Victorian mist at 95km/h blowing their own mist was enough to wonder why the Froggies didn't jump on this before they decided on skateboarding, sport climbing, surfing and breaking.
Just 124 years ago the Paris Olympics didn't have breaking, or surfing, or flag football but it did have motorsports! Not just any motorsports but 14 categories, including six-seater cars, electric taxis vs. normal taxis, electric delivery vans vs. real delivery vans and trucks among others.
Talking of cars, three days ago Ford Motor Co. and Mazda North America issued urgent "do not drive" warnings for more than 457,000 vehicles equipped with recalled, unrepaired Takata airbags. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says: "If you have one of these vehicles, do not drive it until the repair is completed and the defective airbag is replaced."
Talking more about cars, why not buy a car that will last over 400,000km? US auto search engine iSeeCars analysed more than 402 million cars to determine which cars were most likely to continue operating up to at least 400,000km. SUVs dominate the longest-lasting list, taking up 16 of the top 30 rankings, while Toyota is the most prominent brand, with nine models on the list.
Are noisy supercars keeping you awake at night? Well get your local fun police to run an intelligence-led operation to remove nuisance drivers like they did last week in Westminster, soap dodger land. Local residents complained about boy and girl and other racers zooming around in McLarens, Bentleys, Rolls Royces, Ferraris and Lamborghinis. So, the local cops seized $12m worth of cars.
jc@jcp.com.au