Look, I know most of you head to the verandas of the three-starred Le Louise XV-Alain Ducasse restaurant at the Hôtel de Paris Monte-Carlo or the Salle Empire or to the gardens of the famous Bar Americain (a few sips of the Condamine made of the local l’orangerie liquor, passion juice, homemade anis syrup, lemon juice and champagne and you’ll go faster down the Boulevard des Moulins than Checo Perez beating Mad Max last week) to watch the Monte Carlo Grand Prix and crashathon, but can we recommend La Rascasse, the restaurant named after the corner that was named after the old fish and chipper that used to be there.
Perfectly positioned between pit lane and the paddock, you get the inside oil because every F1 driver and the rest of their teams must walk past Rascasse to get to their cars before the race. Only $3k on the Sunday.
The old bloke, whom I’m happy to introduce as my father, and I were there wondering how Ferrari team bosses managed to have two cars in the pits at the same time. This saw Chuck Leclerc go from an absolute winner to fourth. Red Bull’s Perez and Mad Max took first and third. Max’s dad, Jos Verstappen, 50, of Maaseik, Belgium, wasn’t happy with his son’s third.
“Red Bull achieved a good result, but at the same time exerted little influence on helping Max to the front. That he finished third, he owes to Ferrari’s mistake at that second stop of Charles,” Jos says. “The championship leader, Max, was not helped in that sense by the chosen strategy. It turned completely in Checo’s favour.”
The father of Max, Victoria, Blue Jaye, Jason and Mila Faye, Jos is clearly a bit of a lad. The Sun tells us Jos was arrested for attempted murder, has been charged with assaulting Max’s mum, accused of assaulting his girlfriend and given a suspended sentence for fracturing a man’s skull.
And ever the old prankster, in 2012, “when Max was 15, Jos kicked him out of his van as punishment for crashing in the second lap of a world championship kart race in Sarno, near Naples, Italy. Maxie was abandoned at a petrol station until he was picked up by his mum, go-karting champion Sophie Kumpen, and did not speak to his dad for a week.”
Anyway, back to La Rascasse where Mick had just started on cocktail tasting. He had given nods to Sex On The Beach, the Liquid Nitro, the Russian Mule (no sense of global politics) and was eyeing off the Virgin Paradise when he yelled: “Look at Guanyu Zhou, I think he’ll need new underpants after that move on Yuki Tsunoda”. Sure enough, 10 seconds later Zhouy called his team saying: “I need new pants after that.” Ditto in the pants department for Mick Schumacher. Mick spun, clipped the barriers a few corners before La Rascasse, shunted the car into the wall and split it in half. I don’t think his Haas was under warranty at the time.
And then Merc engineering boss Andy Shovlin blamed a Franco-Spanish roadblock of Fred Alonso and Essie Ocon for stopping him beating Georgie Russell and Lando Norris. And then Sky Sports commentator Martin Brundle said the whole thing was a joke: “The FIA, for the wellbeing of F1, urgently needs a root and branch change with a fully dedicated and empowered race director with at least one understudy, a dedicated circuit and systems inspector, plus an empowered and effective communications department.” Hullo Martin, the FIA has just had a root and branch with race director Michael Masi getting the flick and the FIA replacing him with two persons. You’re not saying it’s still stuffed? Oh, you are and Red Bull boss Chris Horner agrees with you. Hmmm.
One thing the race did show us is that the star of the future is Lando Norris, 22, of Monaco. Dad Adam, is the 501st richest person in Windsor Land and had the boy study physics and mathematics with a full-time personal tutor. I’m not sure if this made him quick but put him in a decent car and its goodbye Maxie and Louie.
You all know Sean Connery’s only Aston Martin, a snow shadow Grey with red Connolly (no relation) leather, 1964 DB5 can be yours for about $3m when you turn up at Broad Arrow Auctions’ first Monterey appearance in August. What you don’t know is that his long-time friend, Jackie Stewart has offered to give the successful buyer a drive in the car. But better value is the 1957 Ferrari 250 GT LWB Berlinetta Scaglietti “Tour de France” for about $10m. How good is it? In 2021, this all-aluminium competition Berlinetta won Best in Show at Cavallino, a Platinum Award as well as the special Elegance in Motion Award at the Pebble Beach Concours. A bit light on? Duttons in Melbourne has a white, 2017 Holden Special Vehicles GTS R with only 1934km for a reasonable (in what universe) $409k.
And the love story is equally as good. He met Robin Villiers when he was 16. They married in 1962 and they were inseparable for 67 years. Briggsy is survived by Robin, daughters Heidi and Jodie, and four grandchildren.