Wondering about your next holiday? Scrapped cruising? Too much boat not enough love? The gang giving you too much of a hard time about getting frequent traveller status on the Woman’s Weekly World Discovery Tour?
OK. How about this?
You and your friend/partner/personal assistant/body guard join with 58 other incredibly wealthy metal lovers in 29 other supercars for a four-day, 1400 km road trip from Brands Hatch to Monaco.
On day one we start off in Kent at the historic Brands Hatch racetrack where, not to be too parochial, Jack Brabham, Alan Jones, Vern Schuppan, Troy Corser and Troy Bayliss have all had wins. In fact over to your right is Brabham straight. Over to your left is the Superlight Caterham. Hard to tell if it’s the R300 which is as quick 0 to 100kmh as your Aston Martin V12 (4.4 seconds) or the R500 which hits 100kmh in a little under 3 seconds. Anyway we will be drifting the 50 year old Colin Chapman design around a figure eight course.
After we’ve all had a go, we head off to France for a spot of lunch and a few wines to calm the nerves at Marc Meurin’s two star Chateau de Bealieu. Marc usually charges around $80 for a main course but it’s included in our $50,000 tour price (oh, by the way you have to supply your own supercar.)
After a bit of local pigeon, truffles, cheese and four or five bottles of 2005 Damoy Chambertin I know you feel the need for more food and drink so lets head over to the champagne district, have a shower and shave (men and women) at the Royal Champers Hotel where Napoleon (short but perfectly well formed) Bonaparte used to stay when he wanted a big night out with one of his girlfriends, of which he had plenty.
If you can get out of bed for day two, you will be surprised to learn that we are heading off to more wine districts and a gut turning (hullo breakfast good to see you again!) trot around the Dijon-Prenois circuit in a Radical SR8 RX. If you follow wrestling, rugby or motor racing you will know Frank Chambelland founded this former F1 circuit. Frank was said to be l’Ange Blanc, France’s most famous masked wrestler (the Stig of the great sport of grappling if you like) but no he just donned the mask some nights, like many of us do after a few Martinis and a couple of dozen oysters.
Tonight we’re at the foot of the Alps for more food and even more wine which guarantees you won’t remember any of how you bowed down to the porcelain god after you managed to slip out of the Radical earlier in the day.
Next morning what’s left of you hops into your Ferrari Dayton, 755kw Bristol Super Fighter 5 or the like joining your friends from the entertainment, sports and entrepreneurial worlds for a quick drive over the Tour de France track to Chateau St Martin about an hour from Monte Carlo.
Now I don’t want to be a killjoy but like a lot of the places we stay on this trip, the hotel St Martin is, well, really old. In fact it was built in the 12th century. Now I know Sofitel is a French company so you wonder why they haven’t built a few nice new motels around Froggy land. Anyway if your stomach is still leaning towards the technicolour yawn department then don’t join us on the helicopter ride for the private beach party in St Jean Cap Ferrat.
On race day we watch Mark Webber take an easy win while getting stuck into more snails and wine, a party on a superyacht and then back home by private jet.
The FT Run to Monaco is organised by Christo Thompson and Chris Welch who have also organised a Run to Abu Dhabi to watch the F1 at the Yas Marina circuit. Naturally I approached Christo about entering road trip to Monte Carlo but he thought the other participants wouldn’t see my Mazda BT50 dual cab as a true supercar. Our editor Phil King said he understood my distress and suggested we organise a Weekend Australian Run to Port Kembla. He continues to be a disappointment to us all in the motoring section.
