Imagine it's September 25 and you've paid your $450 and you've just settled in alongside 59,999 of your fellow Melbourne football fans at the Perth arena when the festivities begin.

Now before you think I've been following the advice from my bible of the week, The Specials' wonderful tune, Everybody Knows, this is truly what happened in last Sunday's F1 race in Dentist land, aka Belgium.

Now it was raining trackside but many of us (particularly your correspondent who hates even a spot of water on the track) believe the real test of a great racer is how they handle the wet. Anyway, race officials were worried about safety issues at Spa but instead of cancelling the event and giving fans their money back, they waited for three very damp hours, had the cars line up in single file behind the safety car and drive (not race) for three laps, then come back in and award half marks as though the charade was real.

While Mad Max won the disgusting farce, Hamo got it right: "Money talks and the two laps to start the race is all a money scenario. So everyone gets their money and I think the fans should get theirs back, too. Because unfortunately they didn't get to see what they paid for. We were sent out for one reason and one reason only. Two laps behind a safety car where there is no possibility to gain or lose a place or provide entertainment to fans isn't racing."

Meanwhile, FIA president Jean Todt has backtracked and announced there will be a review of F1's regulations – including the practice of handing out points once a race has run to a minimum of two laps – after the Spa Sunday.

And an even sadder announcement from everyone's favourite F1er, Kimi Raikkonen, who this week said he would be hanging up his gloves after a 20-year career behind the wheel. After 344 races, 21 wins, 103 podiums, Kimi's last race will be the season finale at Abu Dhabi. Williams driver George Russell will take over as Hamo's wing person.

Talking of fancy cars, our independent test driver, Baru Jack, has just completed his review of the turbo diesel Kia Sorento (about $55k): "Generally, I'm not a fan of SUVs, but because we do a lot of Timber Creek/Katherine/Darwin/return trips (about 620km each way), all while carrying large and often heavy loads of supplies, large and powerful SUVs are more or less mandatory, especially in the Wet."