Yes, it's the bumper marketing edition of the Weekend Australian motoring column in the business section. Today we'll look at the lengths F1 will go to publicise the season opening this weekend.
You've been asking yourself all week: "Why is Honda pulling out of F1?"
Honda's withdrawal means the two Red Bull teams will be engineless. It's hard to be competitive with the equivalent of Fred Flintstone's footmobile against F1 cars with 670kW engines that rev to 15,000rpm.
Now I know there will be a flood of emails from temporary persons who quite like roaring around on two wheels fewer than the good lord intended, but can you listen to how the PR people in Bologna, Italy, describe their $30k motorbike: "So good to be bad. Powerful. Muscular. But also agile and effective between the curves for maximum riding enjoyment. The new Diavel 1260 combines the performance of a maxi-naked with the ergonomics of a muscle cruiser." Look, I know quite a bit about the spin business, but "a maxi-naked"? Sounds like a heap of Bologna to me.
Anyway, back to the other Bull. Before I give you the reason, can I just confuse you even more by saying the full name of the caffeine drink company's top team is Aston Martin Red Bull Racing powered by Honda. Except it's not. Aston Martins are powered by Mercedes.
OK, Red Bull is doing pretty well. Coming into this weekend's race in Portugal, RB driver Maxie Verstappen is No 3 in the driver standings, teammate Alex Albon is seven and AlphaTauri's Pierre Gasly is 10th. Red Bull is second in the constructors' championship. Ferrari is sixth.
Anyway, the real reason Honda CEO, former chassis engineer Takahiro Hachigo, pulled the plug is because he's sick of the bleating from the four Red Bull drivers about the lack of responsibility Honda takes for the engines. Every time they pull into the pits with an engine issue the pit crew mechanics say: "We've never seen that problem before."
Which brings us to our old, well not so old, friend from the NT, Lindsey Nielsen. From when she took delivery of a 2017 Honda R in November, the car has had serious mechanical issues. At the time the dealer said a rod was not aligned or not correctly assembled. The dealer had the car for a few months and gave her $70 a day to hire a car.
"The guy in Honda Melbourne doesn't return my calls until I catch him in his office. I heard from him once they decided what to do, and today — so twice. They are avoiding me like the plague."