Today, we ask Jay Gatsby: how to save 30% on your new Porsche 911 and 20% on your new Bentley; how to look like him and attract thousands of good-looking women or men, or both; how to win the world’s greatest Ferrari pornography, the RM auctions catalogue for the 2009 Ferrari Leggenda E Passione auction and finally, the winner of the Robb report’s 2009 car of the year award.
You all remember Jay of course. He’s the epitome of the American dream and all that’s great about breathtaking wealth. Born dirt poor in North Dakota he brought himself to riches through studying and working out every day and by an equally rigorous schedule of marketing illegal booze and worthless stocks and bonds. He held parties for hundreds of people every other weekend in his Long Island mansion that is still worth about $50 million and Bonhams and Butterfield will be auctioning his beautiful yellow 1929 Rolls-Royce Phantom Ascot tourer in Greenwich Connecticut for about $200,000 next month so that you can look and drive just like him. Of course Jay ended up being shot in his extraordinary swimming pool after taking the rap for his girlfriend who drove his beautiful yellow car over someone else’s wife. It’s not all roses being fabulously rich.
So let’s get started. Car sales in Australia are down about 20%. In fact, in some sections of the market they are down over 40%. Now in true Jay Gatsby style, one of Sydney’s best-known bankers decided it was time to buy a new Porsche for the wife and the new Bentley for himself. Clearly he wasn’t going to pay retail so he put the two cars out to tender. In the case of the Porsche it was to four dealers, an option not open to you if you live in Victoria but as we always say here, if there’s only one dealer of any brand in your state, it’s often worth getting an interstate dealer to give you a price.
Bottom line is our banker saved himself close to $150,000. While you might not be buying close to a million dollars worth of cars this month you can still think about putting the new Corolla or Holden out to tender.
Some cars that you may want to think about and put out to tender are in the latest edition of Jay’s favourite magazine the Robb Report. Amongst the ads for business jets, $100,000 watches, $6 million dollar Dornier flying boats and $100 million motor yachts is the judges €™ choice of car of the year.
Of course this is the Robb Report and this ain’t no ordinary car competition. The testing took place in the Napa Valley and the post drive discussion was held over multicourse, multi-vintage dinners at better vineyards in the area. The judges included investment bankers, insurance company owners, lawyers (naturally), specialist surgeons (equally naturally) and entertainment executives. Clearly, the judges were lacking in taste because the exquisite Porsche 911 S (as owned by your correspondent) only managed fourth. Third was the V8 powered BMW M3 which of course is slower than the Porsche. Second was the equally slow but bulletproof Mercedes-Benz SL 63 AMG with the winner being the Volkswagen Gallardo LP 560 – 4. Of course we all know the Lambo is really an Audi R8 in Italian drag: a combination of Hitler or Mussolini or more correctly, Porsche and Armani.
Talking of BMWs and tenders, if you are thinking about buying an M3 you might want to include BMW Geelong on your list wherever you live. I’ve got no connection with them except that eight or nine readers have now bought cars from this dealer and they continue to rave about the old-fashioned service. This includes a prominent Melbourne banker whose wife has allowed him to have a midlife crisis and buy a very quick Beemer on the condition that she is the only female in the passenger €™s seat. Really defeats the purpose doesn’t it?
Finally, Jay Gatsby would love you to own this year’s collection of Ferrari pornography the very beautiful RM auction Marinello catalogue. There are 260 pages of sex on wheels like the 1965 Ferrari 275 GTB/C ($4 million), 1956 250 GT Berlinetta – Tour de France ($6 million) and Jackie Stewart’s and Australian David Mackay €™s, one of three, 1967 Ferrari 330 P4. Given this is one of the greatest sports racing prototypes Ferrari ever designed and has had only one owner for the last 38 years it’s impossible to put a value on it, only to say $10 million could be cheap. Meanwhile, even though the catalogue is only valued at $200, it is made more valuable by the fact that this is probably the only one in Australia. It can be yours by simply e-mailing me with the car you think Jay Gatsby would drive today.
