I now have definite, scientific evidence that the world has gone completely mad and that the end times, end of time, end of days, last days, final days, doomsday, eschaton or rapture will probably take place tomorrow just after 3pm.
Here's one irrefutable piece of non fake news fact: Spanish car maker SEAT (part of VW) is offering a portable, French made Handpresso coffee machine that fits into the twin cup holders between the front seats in any SEAT model as an option.
Imagine you're driving along, checking out Facebook and Tinder on the iPhone and feel the headache, fatigue, low energy, irritability, anxiety, poor concentration, depressed mood and tremors that signal the need for a caffeine fix. You reach over and plug the Handpresso into the cigarette lighter socket, fill it up with Voss mineral water from Norway, which at $5.49 for 800ml is about 400 per cent more expensive than Shell Vortex 98.
Then there's the news that Ford is making an electric Mustang. "When we first started talking about electrification, there was this thought that there had to be a trade-off: it was either going to be green and boring and no fun, or really exciting but burn a lot of fossil fuels," says Bill Ford, the great grandson of founder Henry.
Talking of strategy, just before he went to the Le Corbusier designed Punta Tragara on Capri for his annual hols, the editor said: "I think people are sick of cars and bikes in your motoring column. Write about something else."