It’s The Weekend Australian’s motoring column in the business section exclusive report on cars and sex. Do not, under any circumstances, let the kiddies, persons of extreme religious or political views, your parents or grandparents, your kindergarten teacher, persons holding any clerical office (rabbis, imams, priests, nuns, ministers, pastors, preachers, bhikkhunis or CEOs of top 20 companies) read this.
New clinical research released today (well, that’s not really true, it was released in 2008 but I just found it today) proves the sound of a luxury car engine appeals to our primal instincts, surprisingly more so for women, even if they claim to have no interest in cars.
The study, by luxury motor insurers Hiscox (no, get your head out of the gutter, I didn’t make the name up), exposed (there you go again) participants to a recording of supercar engines being revved and their response was measured by the levels of testosterone secreted in their saliva. Study leader, psychologist David Moxon, used the notes of a Maserati, a Lamborghini, a Ferrari and a Volkswagen Polo, to ensure a fair comparison of arousal was measured with an everyday vehicle.
The results showed that the Maserati exhaust has it all in the seduction department: 100 per cent of female participants showed a significant increase in testosterone secretion. Men after women? Throw away your VW! All female participants showed a decrease in testosterone in reaction to the Polo.
Men after men? Sixty per cent of male participants showed an increase in testosterone in reaction to the Lamborghini. In a world exclusive interview from the Hiscox press release, Moxon told me that “the women actually exceeded the men when it came to experiencing driving excitement, showing that their preferences were overshadowed by their basic instincts”.
In their seminal book Driving Passion: The Psychology of the Car, University of Oxford psychologists Peter Marsh and Peter Collett, Oxford University psychologists, say driving itself is a turn-on.
“The passion most clearly linked with the automobile … is purely sexual. As a human body accelerates, nerves and muscles all over the body react.
“Signals are sent through the spinal cord, which increases muscle tone, particularly in areas such as the neck, that are most affected by acceleration forces.
“This vastly increases the body’s state of arousal. The central nervous system translates this arousal into a number of emotions. For some people it is pure fear. Others perceive this basic emotional state as intensely pleasurable. The fear and the state of alertness are still there, but they have been mastered. Acceleration is under one’s control, and the result is a flush of emotion that some liken to orgasm.”
Writing in the The Telegraph, psychiatrist Raj Persaud says: “There are several reasons why cars are widely interpreted as signalling status and, indeed, are often purchased with this purpose more in mind than that of simply getting from A to B.
“Cars are often parked together, in company spaces, in drives or outside supermarkets, allowing ready comparison with neighbouring vehicles. You may believe that you live in a nicer house than me, but comparisons are more difficult because I will never park my house next to yours and allow you to judge who has the best prospects.”
That’s why we see elderly but well-preserved persons revving their Ferrari, Maserati and Lambo (but never Polo) engines outside Vans in Cottesloe while the objects of their attraction are inside munching down on the pan-fried kale and asparagus with citrus goat curd, harissa, dukkah and soft poached eggs on rye.
In Melbourne it’s the Porkers, Astons and Jags outside The Botanical, while in Brisbane it’s the WRXs, Nissan Skylines and old German taxis (BMWs) outside McDonald’s.
But no need to spend 400 or 500 big ones on a cafe cruiser. Just be in Phoenix in two weeks when RM Sotheby’s auction off Mickey Thompson’s eye-popping Acapulco blue with striking yellow pinstriping 1970 Mini Dragster for about thirty grand.
Mickey set more speed and endurance records than any other person in automotive history, created the slingshot dragster, then built 180 of these miniature versions. Just position yourself outside The Bot, punch the throttle and lean back, and the mini dragster pops a wheelie just like the true Double-A Fueler! The women, men and others will come running.
In another exclusive, Rocky, a reader from Bowen Hills, revealed he had been celibate for years because of his passion for Golf GTIs, which as we know don’t cause an increase in testosterone in men, women or others. Rocky said he enjoyed my reference to the Holden Piazza last week.
“As well as referring to the most dangerous car they’d tested in a while, the motoring mags at the time also made reference to an unusual braking quirk the Piazza had which involved the rear of the car lifting completely off the road under heavy braking. (I think someone claimed the rear wheels lifted up to 60cm off the road, which would have been something to see, if not to experience.) It was up there with the 2.2 litre turbocharged Mazda MX-6, which someone cruelly referred to as the ‘unguided missile’ due to prodigious torque steer.”
The final word comes from Persaud: “Cars are also about sex, in particular the attention of the opposite (or same) sex … taking someone back to your place in a Maserati promises so much more performance than the same trip in a Mini Metro”. Or, in Rocky’s case, a Golf GTI.
