Yes readers, it's the Ledet, Bronya, Junkanoo, Boro Din, Natal, Bozi, Diwali, Yule, Chrismukkah, Kwanzaa and Bodhi Day bumper edition.
Because we in the place where the heartbeat of nature pulses through red deserts, lush rainforests and boundless blue horizons, where thongs are the equivalent of John Lobb black oxford calf shoes and where asking for a slab means you're ready for a party, not construction work.
Even though he is a serious metal head, the Sultan of Brunei, Hassanal Bolkiah Muiz'zaddin Wad'daulah, or Handsy as his mates call him, has banned Xmas. No Christmas trees, singing carols, nativity plays, festive greetings, and even dressing up as Santa Claus. Anyone caught will face up to five years in Maraburong Prison. Anyway, you can visit Handsy's $9bn metal collection on Xmas day with the kiddies.
The second-most famous Sultan (after the Sultan of Kensi, Official nude portrait painter to the royal family, except two) of SDL has focused on working persons' cars. Bentleys, Rollers (Handsy holds the Guinness World Record for the largest private Roller collection, with more than 500 Rolls-Royces), Bugattis, Feezers, McLarens and Holdens.
You think I'm making this up, don't you? Nup. Handsy has a Durif Red 1990 HSV VN SS Group A Commodore and is believed to have at least four HSV Holdens.
Of course Handsy was trying to get Mick to sneak in an offer on the world's best black Holden SS Ute.
In better news, in Belarus, some parts of Russia, Ukraine and the people have Ded Moroz who travels in a magical V8-powered Sanki with his young blonde assistant, Snegurochka, delivering gifts to kiddies.
Talking of billionaires' car collections: Why did Bernie Ecclestone put his $600m F1 car stockpile up for sale? Hmmm, could it be because he agreed to a settlement with Britain's Fiscal Fiend to pay around $1bn after he pleaded guilty to tax fraud at Southwark Crown Court in London.
Our first Xmas gift suggestion is the 2009 XC70 Volvo V8 built by Chris Delano, president of Volvo parts supplier IPD. Some months ago, after a few Coopers DIYs, Chris said to himself, why not stuff a 4.4-litre naturally aspirated V8 as used in the Noble M600 Supercar and Australian V8 Supercars from 2014 to 2016 into the Volvo.
Next in Santa's sack is from Bruce Canapa's Santa Cruz showroom. This is one of three 1991 Isdera Imperator 108i. The Isdera Imperator is better than sex and uses less calories. Eberhard Schultz is a former Merc designer who was too out there for the Stugartians. Inside is a Merc 32 valve 5.0 V8 making the outside go at close to 300km/h, which is fast, with a periscope instead of rear-view mirrors. About $1.5 mill should seal the deal.
Then there's Tony Quinn's book Zero to 60 and Beyond. Quinny owned and owns companies like VIP Petfoods and Darrell Lea. As he says: "I grew up in a wooden caravan in Aberdeen in Scotland. We weren't what you'd call impoverished but we were poor for a long time."
And don't forget to give the gift of nothing. Yup a sub to our usually weekly newsletter which is free, comes with a moneyback guarantee and meets all ESG standards.
jc@jcp.com.au