Pip pip readers! It's the kiddies' school holidays so I know you are off this week to Juan-les-Pins with your carefully designed topless swimsuit (for men), and of course when the snow falls, you're found in St. Moritz, with the others of the Cottesloe/Medindie/middle class park/Double Bay/Teneriffe jetset.

But can I suggest you and the ankle biters forgo the Pam Pam and head instead to Acturial's garden party in St. Tropez today. It lacks the gorgeous Brazilian dancers in bright, exotic costumes and the Botox-infused faces but it does have Rubens Barrichello's 2002 Spa Grand Prix original racing suit for $5000 and Michael Schumacher's original Ferrari F-2002 Sabelt seat belt for $5000. Baggage and seat belt combo $10,000.

OK you need something flash to turn up in Pam Pam. Eye king John Kennedy could lend you his Macan Turbo but nothing says class more than a 2021 Mercedes-Benz special obsidian black twin-turbocharged V8, 800bhp, G63 600kw Brabus. Readers before you say it looks like a German Tank, which is true, just think about this: you get an integrated actively controlled exhaust flap, with a stainless sports exhaust system with two black chromed side pipes on each vehicle side that offer an electronically controlled sound management with a choice between a discreet "Coming Home" mode or a markedly sporty "Pulling Up At Bar Amelie" V8 sound.

But if you don't like Mercs, don't despair because over at the Golf Country Club de Bonmont, Bonhams is offering the 1978 Monteverdi Safari with Coachwork by Carrozzeria Fissore. Peter Monteverdi was a Gnome racing driver, F1 team owner, car builder and founder of the very small Swiss luxury car brand Monteverdi. In 1976 he launched the Safari based on the International Harvester Scout – that was re-bodied by Italian coachbuilder Fissore and came with a huge V8 with more luxury items than Lady Godiva had hair. It has a "Brionvega Algol portable television set designed by Richard Sapper and Marco Zanuso that sits proudly between the rear seats atop a capacious fridge capable of holding sufficient champagne to preserve the life of all occupants." Good buying at $150k.

Talking of the Austrian GP tomorrow reminds me of the Spanish GP last weekend. The dirty little secret about Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya is that it is where the F1 circus spends its winter so the drivers know this track really well. Anyway, the top cars are getting closer and Sunday's race really showed who the top drivers are: Mad Max, Leaping Lando, the Hamster and Gorgeous George.

"We were the quickest, we had the best car, And I didn't maximise it. The start is down to me and doing what I got told and executing that. Without that, or with a good start, we easily should have won" LL told me via the physic telex.

Can't afford the trip to Austria this weekend? Then head down to the Steve Shelley-owned Pheasants Wood where your correspondent will be doing his best in the Deputy Cheap Car Challenge and 4 hour Enduro with the Lando Norris of Canberra, Ronin Lindenmayer, driving the more important shifts.

jc@jcp.com.au