Good news about the subs in Adelaide. It should mean the Marshall state can afford to get Supercars back on the streets, restore the Classic Adelaide to its former glory and bring back carmaking.
Of course our person in the city that made the safari suit a worldwide fashion trend, Michael McMichael, has already come up with the kind of big ideas that have made the Weekend Australian Racing Team and Nude Royal Portrait painting so successful. A minute after Joe, ScoMo and Boris made the $100bn announcement the old bloke was on the blower with the angle.
"Ring your mates in private equity straight away. Tell them to forget the new US subs – we would have got a better deal on pre owned ones anyway and if drone air fighters are making piloted planes obsolete, drone subs will do the same. Besides that the last time we built submarines in Adelaide it took 26 years for them to become operational and even then there were problems with the bows falling off and being so noisy you could hear them start up in the Ying Chow on Gouger Street. No we need to focus on the reconditioning of the old Collins Class Unterseeboots," Mick said excitedly (for him).
"Look, they only build them in South Australia to get votes, so imagine if we reconditioned the Collins subs using iconic Australian parts. For instance, those 18 cylinder engines are expensive to run, bad for the environment and heavy. So we replace them with 18 Victa two strokes with one central pull start handle on the top of the conning tower. Now the Collins have always had trouble with the masts. They were so badly designed they made the whole sub shake. Answer? Adelaide's own Hills Hoist."
Talking of huge mistakes, the biggest of all would be to see the Hamo/Mad Max crash as the biggest story of last weekend at Monza. Ricciardo's win was no fluke and certainly not the outcome of the latest chapter in the most bitter driver feud since Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber; Ayrton Senna and Alain Prost; Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg; and the most expensive to date, Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso.
Whatever happened to Dan on his two-week break, it gave him his first win in three years and McLaren its first in nine. And his McLaren was only the third fastest car on the track. So what about the crash? It was the second this year but unlike Silverstone one of them came within a few centimetres of death.