“I went to the start in third and then I ran wide on turn one, then I got ahead of Leaping Lando and then they made me give the place back, and then my car wouldn’t go very fast and then I said to Mr Race Engineer, ‘No mate, don’t give me this sh..’, and then I ran into Mr Hamilton and then I abused my very dopey race engineer again and then I came fifth and then I told everyone to get fudged and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day,” Mad Max moaned.
All in all, this wasn’t a race for the kiddies to listen in on but not bad for at least two of the kiddies in the drivers’ seats.
You know, Aussie Oscar, 23, and Leaping Lando 24 (but 25 in November). In the old codgers’ department, The Hamster, 39, came in just behind the youngsters (third) while seniors’ card holder Ferdy Alonso, 42, came 11th.
Just because I know you will email me: Louis Chiron at 55-plus was the oldest ever F1 driver and Mad Max was the youngest ever at 17.
But the real kiddies were on the team side.
Both McLaren and Red Bull were appalling in strategy and even more appalling to their No.1 drivers. “It’s childish on the radio, childish,” the Red Bull race engineer said to the team’s world champion, Mad Max, in the middle of a race. And they kept saying stuff like that for much of the race.
Let’s look at McLaren. Did they forget that Leaping Lando let Oscar through at turn one and that’s why Maxie went for an excursion? Did they forget Oscar made plenty of mistakes through the race? What childish radio talk was McLaren saying to Lando: “You’re going to need the team.” So, they were talking to the driver who, even after Sunday, is only 76 points behind Max on the drivers’ championship while Oscar is 116 behind and telling him the team wouldn’t support him if he didn’t hand the lead over?
It was a great win for Oscar, but I’m not sure any driver wants to win that way.
Anyway, Mad Max was really Much Madder Max. Leaping Lando was only slightly less mad than Max. Danny Ricciardo was angrier than everyone. And so he should have been. His Visa Cash App RB Formula One Team made certain he would go badly with a “two stop into traffic” plan.
Oscar was the happiest he has been in his life and McLaren, once again, despite coming first and second, showed they are not the most colourful crayons in the box. McLaren has cost him four wins so far. Maybe the problem was that the team’s hospitality unit, which caught fire in Barcelona, was damaged by a rainstorm in Hungary.
Then there was the Mad Max- Hamo anger. Hamo and Maxie have been blueing since the 2021 Soap Dodger Grand Prix, where Lou pushed the Maxster into a bad meeting with a tyre wall. Going into any wall at 180mph is not great for you. Then at Monza Maxie hit back. There was a squeeze, Mad’s Red Bull kissed Hamo’s rear tyre and rocketed into the air over the Merc. Max’s right rear tyre gently slid over Lou’s cockpit, touching his helmet. Having the tyre of a moving F1 racing car drive over your head is also not great for you. But Max’s only comment as he walked away from the wrecks was: “That’s what you get if you don’t leave any space, fudging hell.”
Understated driver of Hungary was of course, young (compared to Ferdy) Lewis, who held everyone off with a perfect display of defence racing to come third. This was despite the handicap of having the company that caused the world to go down, CrowdStrike, as a sponsor.
A few terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days over at the listed VW subsidiary, Porsche.
First of all, our friends at GoodCarBadCar tell us Porsche sales stalled out worldwide in the first half of 2024. The Taycan is the biggest loser, with only 8838 deliveries (-51 per cent). Porsche sales in China plummeted 33 per cent. Sales in North America slid 6 per cent but posted the strongest quarterly performance. “The EV crisis is widespread and affects not only mass-market car brands but also the luxury car segment, such as Porsche. The Stuttgart-based sports car manufacturer had a bad first half of 2024. Sales have tanked, and the reduced interest in the Taycan electric vehicle model has dragged down the rest of their line-up.”
We’re asking: is this because Porsche believes that its iconic brand is synonymous with design and engineering heritage, racing legacy, performance, modern and sustainable luxury, prestige, innovation, technological achievement, reliability and very expensive parts and service? If you are buying a Porsche, join your local state Porker club and get their recommendations on where to get your car serviced and where to buy parts. Probably save yourself $10k a year.
Then this week Porsche shook investor confidence after it told analysts it could be forced to stop production of 10,000 vehicles because of a shortage of aluminium parts. Shares fell to a record low.
Deutsche Bank analyst Tim Rokossa said: “A premium stock requires premium execution and delivery ... investors are starting to develop serious doubts about your operational execution power.”
That means serious doubts about Ollie Blume, who has been chief executive of the Porker company since 2015 and CEO of the whole VW Group since September 2022. And it puts serious pressure on chairman Wolfie Porsche.
And today’s car porn pic is of the 1938 Delahaye 135m Torpédo Roadster. Look at this and tell me it’s not the most beautiful metal you’ve seen since a black Holden SS ute. The eighth of 11 Torpédo Roadsters built, with only five surviving. Compared to a 1938 Alfa for $30m, a 1937 Bugatti Type 57SC for $16m and the 1995 Ferrari 333 SP Evoluzione for $12m, the Delahaye at a lousy $3m has to be the buy of Pebble Beach.
