Well, that was all a surprise, wasn't it? Sergio Michel "Checo" Perez Mendoza, 33, originally from Mexico and now of Feusisberg, Gnomeland, won the Saudi Grand Prix by five seconds from Mad Max; with Ferdy Alonso third then last then third again, and Georgie Russell six seconds ahead of the Hamster. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, there's a lot to unpack here before we open the kimono and boil the ocean about the macro themes coming into the Albert Lake soiree next weekend. First up, Mad Max was meant to win. That's how the Red Bull TV show is scripted. Max's excuse is he had to start from 15th on the grid. He got into second place very quickly but simply didn't have the speed to catch Checo. Then because he had the tom tits, Max went against team orders and set the fastest lap. Max is quickly learning the Hamo lesson about tall poppies and people going off him when he throws a tanty. Now please pay attention here because it does get very confusing and there's a quokka load of tom tit going down. The seniors card holder of the F1 set, Ferdy Alonso, is suddenly the pensioner to watch. Two thirds in two races. Why? Because he is a great wheel person, driving what is effectively a Red Bull car with a Mercedes engine. So Red Bull isn't happy that Ferdy is just sitting there waiting for its drivers to make a mistake or break down. Mercedes is not happy that its cars are being beaten by a car with its engine. Ferrari is not happy because it is not even in the top group anymore. Lewis Hamilton isn't happy because not only are Checo, Mad Max and Ferdy ahead of him, but Georgie Russell – the number-two driver for Merc – is consistently faster than him. And, Hamo has split with the stabilising force in his life, Angela Cullen, 48, of Adernland. Angela has been his physio, mental and physical health adviser for seven years. None of us are happy that F1, a $40bn business, is run like the neighbourhood netball team. Last Sunday, Ferdy crossed the line third. Then 20 minutes after the race had finished and Ferdy had been given a trophy, been sprayed with cheap Italian sparkling wine (to save money F1 has stopped using champagne and uses the sparking Ferrari Trento) – than the stewards took the trophy back. Let me just say that again. The FIA stewards who haven't covered themselves in glory for a very long time, took five hours and 12 minutes to decide that Ferdy needed to be penalised and humiliated, that Georgie Russell and Mercedes should get a podium and then decided they were wrong and everything should go back to the way it was. Moving to more important matters, Val Bottas will be driving the 2016 Bathurst 1000-winning Holden VF Commodore V8 Supercar today at the Adelaide Motorsports Festival. Val is a regular visitor to the City of Churches because his partner, cycle champ Tiffany Cromwell (born July 6, 1988) lives locally.