About now you have read every book ever written, binged on every TV show, given up watching your clothes shrink in front of your eyes, thought through every pick up line you can use on the combination of Tinder, Silver Singles and Zoom, drunk every beer ever made except Corona.
There's only one answer to stop a trip to the funny farm and that's to buy your first classic car. As usual we've dragged out our team of experts to stop you losing too much money and hair.
Dave Kinney from Hagerty, the world's largest insurer of classic cars, is also one of the world's top valuers of old metal. Thwarted in his ambition to be a jockey (he's 2m tall and weighs 136kg) he turned to cars where his main advice is "buy something that fits you and you fit in." Then there's James Nicholls the writer, lecturer, broadcaster, classic car consultant and founder of AXA Sydney Harbour Concours d'Elegance.
Let's get their common themes out first:
1. Do your research and pay for some advice if you're going to spend reasonable money. Most people get financial advice, advice on shares, advice on big ticket items for home but for some reason don't get advice when they spend $30k on a new, used or classic car.
2. Buy a car with most of the restoration done unless you are handy on the tools. "I know of a someone who spent $200k restoring a ($140,000) E-Type and sold it for $250k," says James.
3. Despite what you've read about classic cars outperforming every other investment, don't buy your first classic to make money. If you buy well you will definitely lose less money than buying a new car (at least 30 per cent when you drive out the showroom).
4. Buy a car you and your family or special friend will drive and enjoy. Buy with your head and your heart.
5. Always get an independent mechanical inspection and if you're paying serious money have someone check all the papers to see how real a classic it is.
6. Look at five or six examples of the car you love. Get the best condition for the price.
The biggest person in classic cars says: "Something rather uncomplicated." Dave suggests things with straight sixes, British roadsters, MX-5s, less desirable Falcons from the 70s without the hot engines and of course a really great Holden ute. James has a set of guidelines. "Buy a brand that's still available like a Jaguar (he recommends an E-Type or a Mark 2) or a Mercedes (280SL) and can keep up with modern traffic."