Yes, you're at the right place. All the bad news is here. Let's start the morning with the news from the boss of the London Loony Party, the New York-born Mr Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, that poms will only be able to buy electric or hydrogen cars and vans from 2035.

Mr de Pfeffel Johnson, a former journalist (that explains everything) and fox hunter, told tens of supporters that a "catastrophic period of global addiction to hydrocarbons had led to the planet being swaddled in a tea cosy of carbon dioxide."

Back home Electric Vehicle Council CEO (no vested interest there) Behyad Jafari said Australia needed to roll out an electric vehicle strategy to catch up with other developed countries. He joined other commentators calling for a ban on petrol cars and on the Australian Grand Prix in March.

Now the call couldn't have come at a worse time. This month our two leading car mags, Wheels and Motor, announced their cars of the year. In the all-important performance car of 2020, Motor went for the turbo petrol Porker 911 Carrera S ($265k). Wheels picked the Merc EQC ($138k). I take these choices to mean that if you want a nice quiet car to go to the retirement village then the electric Merc is your choice. But if you still have feeling in your body and actually like driving and cars, then as usual the petrol Porker will make you feel like your life has not been a waste.

Look I'm a realist. Well that's not true but I do know the end of the petrol engine will come suddenly. There's a small number of engine plants in the world. As production of engines slows at some stage it just won't be sustainable to keeping making them and the factories will shut. Of course, there will be some specialists turning out engines for racing like there are still piano roll manufacturers pumping out perforated paper.

Talking of historic cars, the Australian Historic Vehicle Interest Group has just lodged its pre-budget submission to Treasurer Josh Frydenberg. The submission wants the government to grant an exemption from the Luxury Car Tax for people who import historic cars (over 30 years old). The tax raises virtually no revenue, deprives Australians of jobs and sees great Australian classics go overseas with no chance of them coming back.

And in more bad news, you know how the ACCC has taken Mazda to court alleging that the Japanese carmaker engaged in unconscionable conduct and made false or misleading representations in its dealings with consumers who bought one of seven new Mazda vehicles between 2013 and 2017? Rocket Rod's ACCC alleges that these consumers began experiencing faults with their vehicles within a year or two of purchase.