When you talk we listen! This week more than 20 per cent of readers (4) said they wanted more of the column devoted to alternative investments. "These days you need to be ready to spend $10m to buy something decent in the classic car department. That's way out of the reach of most of us on Struggle Street," writes MM from Stepney, South Australia.

So get your self-managed super ready because we'll be looking at everything from jewellery, to submarines (if they're good enough for ScoMo they're good enough for us) to, very unfortunately, motorcycles (the quickest way to the afterlife).

When Michael McMichael talks, governments listen! Within days of the old bloke suggesting the crowd in Canberra buy some pre-owned subs rather than wait until we are all dead and China has become part of Singapore to build new ones, our own Joe Kelly revealed that Minister Dutton and Minister Birmingham are looking at used sub dealers to lease a couple of demo models.

Look I don't care what kind of subs we get (as long as they're not electric), I just want to point out that older subs are now in a price bracket we can afford. If you want to use yours to go to war then that's your business.

Until Covid, the quickest way to lose money was to buy a new car. As you leave the free balloons, the free sausage sizzle, the Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Persons, you have just transferred 40 per cent of the price you paid from your wallet into the ether. On the other hand, if you win the new car lottery and score a Land Cruiser or a Yaris GR Rallaye you can immediately sell it for 15 per cent more.

Buying the new sub caper is worse. So you write the Yanks a Gregory Peck for $9bn. You pick the sub up in Adelaide 30 years later, the governor cracks a bottle of US sparkling (no French, on the nose), the good ship slides down the slipway, you dress up like Sean Connery who dresses up like Captain 1st rank Marko Ramius and despite being Russian speaks in a Scottish accent and you utter your first commands: "All ahead full. Fifteen degrees on the down plane" and immediately your $9bn piece of 30-year-old nuclear wizardry is worth four fifths of fluff all.

I hate to admit it but old two-wheeler transport is not a bad investment. In two weeks Bonhams will be at The Classic Motorcycle Mechanics Show in Stafford with some very sweet machines. Have a look at the 1974 Ducati 750SS from the Hans Schifferle Collection. Cycle magazine called the SS as "a bike that stands at the farthest reaches of the sporting world – the definitive factory-built cafe racer". My guess is the auction house estimates are low at $250k but if you can steal it for below that it would look super next to the sub and the Lambo engagement ring in the pool room or person cave.