When you can’t get tyres ($780 each) for your McLaren ($480k, no more to pay) you know things are tough. Like most of us when you can’t spend money on travel, like going to LA and renting a McLaren 720S Spider for $1750 a day (for 80km, $5 for each extra kilometre) or a Fezza Portofino in Portofino for $1638 a day, you spend it on your car.
Taking the Fezza, Porker, Beemer, Macca or Lambo out for a spin on the track is better than being at home zooming with colleagues you have come to hate with a vengeance. Only problem is it wears out tyres quickly, as other owners of daily McLaren drivers around the world are finding. So, let me suggest a few alternatives.
You could come to our Weekend Australian Rally Team drinks at the Kensi in Adelaide on Monday, November 23. We have a few COVID-19 free spaces left. Not only will the nude royal portrait painter be there, but so will the Cooper who put the Cooper in Coopers (Tim Cooper: a doctor, so you know every drink is good for you); the creator of the world’s best rally, Sh*tbox Rally founder James Freeman, a host of others whose security teams have told us not to mention, and even more who are out on day release.
Another option is to spend more money on great cars. Don’t worry about new ones. No stock. Don’t worry about near new. Prices too high. Instead have a look at the cattle dog for next week’s Shannons Spring Timed Auction. A timed auction is online to protect you from catching anything nasty from other cashed-up, desperate petrol heads, like myself.
OK this is an auction where every child gets a prize. There’re 48 items of auto memorabilia. My picks: the Austin J40 pedal car in barn find, or as the spiel says, an “original, unrestored example”. Austin produced more than 31,000 of them from 1949 to 1971 using scrap metal from their Longbridge, UK factory. Stuck for a Christmas pressie for the fam at home? Who wouldn’t want to wake up on Santa day to a Gilbarco Salesmaker Double petrol pump in the old Ampol livery ($4k). Fill it with Coopers or Bundy OP, lie everyone down of the floor, yell “open up” and push in the handle as you walk around the room, nozzle to mouths. I did it last year and we haven’t had so much fun since my grandmother’s funeral.
Then there are 17 number plates ranging from $15k (22.022) to $150k (754), (the price of a set of Pirelli Zero Ones for your Macca).
Moving to death traps, there are 36 motorbikes for your crippling pleasure. Look, there’s some Vespas, but seriously you wouldn’t be seen dead on one even outside Stagger Lee in Brunswick Street. Come on, you’re not Sienna Miller or Jude Law, and you weren’t in the remake of Alfie.
I’d put my hand up for the 2008 Limited Edition Ducati Desmosedici. Only 120 came to Australia (Tom Cruise bought the rest); $100k new, and if you can get it for just over $60k it’s a bargain.
There are 75 cars including: a couple of early ’80s Beemers for $16k plus; my second favourite Porker, a 1979 928 Coupe (around $35k) and a 1988 928 S4; some serious Holdens (around $75k); a 1971 Feezer 365 GTC/4 Coupe ($400k); but I have serious lust for the 1970 E-Type 4.2 series roadster.
Eighteen readers and one friend, take a look at the pic of this sex machine. For a start it’s red on the outside, black leather on the inside. It’s got chrome wire wheels, a period Sanyo radio-cassette and a rebuilt engine. The owner has thrown big money at it but it’s not Concours. A top buy at $140k-plus.
Let’s get on to the depressing stuff. You all know WART member Evelyn Martyn, a serious car owner, fellow MX-5 racer and general good person. A few months back she bought a new Toyota 86 GTS from Mosman Toyota in Sydney. When she went back to the dealer for the car’s 1000km service (“The one where the guy with the clipboard walks around and checks that the wheels are all there and the doors open and shut”) she left a short list of items she wanted checked.
These included the head unit GPS stereo. The “so-called touch screen stereo was so difficult to operate I cracked the screen. Plus, the power button on these units is only there for decoration.”
Toyota Service said the stereo would not be repaired, no reason given. “When I asked how to turn the unit off I was told the unit would have to be unplugged.” So she went to Phil Gilbert Toyota in Croydon, NSW.
“All I was after was a price for a replacement unit, but this request had all the good people at Phil Gilbert scratching their heads as they have never ever experienced anything like this before. One week and not a single call to tell me the price of a new unit.” After waiting Evelyn bought a Kenwood unit from Ryda in Petersham NSW. “It works, perfectly. Touch screen works with no problems and it sync’s with my iPhone.”
Naturally Evelyn wrote to the president and CEO of Toyota Australia, Matthew Callachor. Naturally Matt, whose move into the top position in Australia was the culmination of a 36-year career of achievement with Toyota during which he has developed extensive knowledge and experience locally as well as in the US and Japan, didn’t write back, but Michael, a guest consultant for guest experience did. Mick talked about everything except the stereo.
So we wrote to Toyota PR boss Emily Haseloff. Emily replied that “ensuring our customers have the best experience possible is our top priority and I have escalated Evelyn’s letter and concerns to senior management at our Guest Experience Centre who will reach out directly to continue to assist”. But Emily, senior management at Guest Experience Centre have already reached out and the experience was the worst possible!
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