Bah humbug, I’ve been ordered to write about Christmas presents. I don’t even know if we are allowed to say Christmas any more so if you only see Happy here I’ve been censored.
Anyway let’s go to the news first.
Showing the power of F1, immediately after Nico Rosberg announced his retirement, New Zealand Prime Minister, John Key, Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi, Bunnings boss John Gillam, Wellington Phoenix head coach Ernie Merrick and French PM Manuel Valls all threw in the towel, saying “we’ve all hit the pinnacle of our careers so it’s fitting we should all go out together on a high”.
Australian police have finally admitted that speeding is not the major cause of the road carnage. What they didn’t say was their political leaders would keep adding speed cameras because who else would pay for new bike lanes.
Australian oil companies immediately put up the price of petrol once they heard the price of West Texas crude may rise in the next 10 years. “Seasons greetings, losers,” a politically correct oil company spokesmen said.
Suicide kills more 15 to 44-year-old men than road crashes. No doubt we will see governments spending as much money trying to cut the suicide rate as they do the road toll.
VW Australia has started recall work on 61,000 cars with dieselgate emissions software. This is only about 40 years after VW began recalls on the 11 million cars involved in the scandal overseas and after they forked out $20 billion to buy crook cars back in Trumpland. The government in Trumpland actually looks after the interests of car owners, unlike our toadies here.
Oh wait! ASIC has told BMW Australia to pay back $72 million for ripping off car buyers who financed through the firm. As cynical as I am about the motor industry, and I actually own two BMWs, I was shocked by the way the German company signed up punters who had no chance of ever paying the loan back. So no hope of factory sponsorship for your racing BMW then, John.
Of course, BMW refused to comment. You know how much car companies usually hate talking to the media.
In news you didn’t know, BMW is recalling 136,188 vehicles in the US and another 18,284 in Canada due to improperly crimped wiring for the fuel pump in the gas tank, which can cause a fuel leak. If you are an Australian owner of a BMW from 2007 to 2012, our advice is don’t smoke in the car.
Audi could buy back 25,000 older diesel Q7s with 3.0-litre turbodiesel V6s that don’t pass US emissions tests, and repair others. But not if you live in Turnbull land.
Subaru is recalling 100,127 cars with the 2.5-litre turbocharged four-cylinder engine because they could catch fire. Naturally, if you live here you should jump out of your Suby when you feel hot.
Toyota will pay to $4bn to settle a federal class action lawsuit brought by US owners of 92,000 pick-up trucks and SUVs whose frames could rust through.
A spokesman for the company said, “We want our customers to have a great ownership experience.” Australian owners who want a great ownership experience should not stamp their feet on the floors of their SUVs.
Bentley, owned by VW, is recalling about a quarter of the Bentaygas sold so far in the US because of loose screws. Australian buyers who have forked out $450,000 for the truck should buy the Stanley 20-piece screwdriver set from Bunnings before Gillam leaves and the price goes up.
After all that, thankfully, there’s only time for two suggested presents for your loved ones or your family.
The first is a gift certificate from rallyschool.com.au, which is national except for Tasmania, where you feel like you’re in a rally every time you get in the car, and the Northern Territory, where the fun loving Labor Party got into office and immediately kowtowed to a small group of misinformed do-gooders and reintroduced the speed limit on every outback road despite the fatality rate going down on those roads when there was no limit.
I paid Mick Ryan $495 for a half day, which did include chips and water. You have to rank all these experiences on how terrifying they are. So, swim with the dolphins is about $300 and ranks about 1.5 on the fear scale. Suitable for nancy boys and girls. Hot air balloon rides are $289 and rank 6.5 because of the Hindenburg effect.
Driving a Suby WRX turbo with only the slightest smell of petrol around a dirt track ranks about 11 out of 10. Don’t buy just two laps, take the half day and be really scared and learn something.
This is a shortened version of the original article. To read the rest go to:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/life/motoring/450k-for-loose-screws-companies-suffer-total-recall/news-story/4e83b3d4f1d72d1dd4c865f5e6986118
